Producer #1: Have you seen Alan Smithee’s blueprints for the Acme skyscraper?Producer #2: Got ‘em right here. Fabulous. What a great shade of blue this guy picks out.
Script Reader: What’d I tell you? I love the way the little bushes and trees just POP. And the lady walking her dog by the front doors, that was a great little touch.
Producer #1: Very innovative. All of the restrooms on just one floor.
Debbie Downer: But won’t that be a problem?
Script Reader: There she goes again. Debbie you have to understand that our clients have the ability to suspend disbelief. They’ll be fine with it.
Producer #2: The way Smithee solved the parking situation was inspired.
Debbie Downer: I don’t know about parking the cars vertically.
Producer #2: He provides a hand winch at each parking spot. Genius.
Script Reader: The best part was the blueprints came in at a svelte 109 pages.
Debbie Downer: But the building has 130 floors.
Script Reader: Doesn’t matter. I HATE blueprints over 110 pages. Too much work.
Producer #1: This guy’s a pro. Look at the way he draws those lines, bold, daring. And his style, flair and heart.
Debbie Downer: Guys! There’s no roof on this building. The elevators don’t go to all of the floors and the foundation will crumble with the first stiff breeze.
Producer #2: Guess you’re right about that.
Script Reader: It does seem to have a few flaws.
Producer #1: OK, so we’re all in agreement then? Good. We offer Smithee mid-six figures to draw up some work-for-hire blueprints.
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